So there we have it. A Secretary of Defense, who, in my opinion, isn’t someone I would love to sit next to at dinner.

 

My first instinct was to shut down. To disavow this man and his belief systems. Then I took a minute and thought - he is a soldier. He is going to take the lead in fighting for this country. I thought about the famous scene in "A Few Good Men", where Tom Cruise, playing a young lawyer, and Jack Nicholson, playing a senior Colonel,  get into it in the courtroom. The lawyer shouts, “I want the TRUTH!” and the Colonel responds, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH”.

 

That scene always stuck with me. The Colonel is saying it takes a certain type of person to handle and enforce the very freedoms we take for granted (and yes – now that I have lived overseas for 20 years, I can say most Americans take freedom, and what it actually means on a day-to-day scale, for granted).

 

There are horrors and hatred going on every second of every day. Grotesque tortures, abuses, and power struggles are happening on an almost unimaginable scale. Every second of every day.

I don’t want to live in a situation like that, and I know you don’t either. No one does.

 

But some people can handle it better than others.

 

I often say, as an individual with several (and some rare) diseases – that I would rather have a genius doctor than one with an excellent bedside manner but limited capacity. Some people prefer a doctor who is warm and caring, and pleasant to be around. I want someone who sees possibilities that others don’t – even if he is cold.

 

Because that could save my life.

 

So, who do I want to protect this country? Someone affable, someone caring but limited - or someone who is willing to finish a fight to the death of either side? When it comes down to my little-but-precious life, I want a protector who will go places I cannot - or will not. I want a protector who won't give up.

 

There is a great book called "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. He espouses that for an effective team, you have to have the right people on the right seat on the bus. So, for example – call our country, the Good Ol’ US of A, the bus.

 

The politicians, no matter which side we are on, are on the bus. Now, in a normal demographic, there are going to be people we like, and people we don’t. That’s what makes the world go ‘round. So there has to be a place in society, or on the bus, for everyone.

 

So if this politician has a place in our society, maybe he has been put on the right seat on the bus? Maybe his personality type matches what this position needs? Or maybe not - maybe he will go too far?

 

As a psychologist, I have been trained to look at every variable affecting a situation and to try and disprove my hypothesis (opinion). That has brought me considerable benefit in seeing the whole picture. While my regular brain might want to shoot down things I disagree with, my psychological brain explores the positives and negatives of every situation. And I like that about my new brain. I see different perspectives that I would not have before. I still carry opinions, and likes and dislikes, but expanding my consciousness brings objectivity, which I value.

 

So, while we may or may not agree with situations, let’s always try to take a second, or even a third look, before we shut down. We are all on the same bus together, whether we like it or not.

 

Kumbaya, Namaste, and Peace Out, my peeps.